do you remember.

"Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist,
there are still those that lie beyond our capacity and our imagination.
From time to time, when a piece of music no one has ever written or a painting no one has ever painted,
or something else impossible to predict, fathom or yet describe
takes place, a new feeling enters the world.
And then, for the millionth time in the history of feeling,
the heart surges and absorbs the impact."

— Nicole Krauss (The History of Love)

I woke up this morning feeling things that yesterday were only slivers of shadows

I wish I could remember the first time the ocean swallowed my feet

and this is what I thought when I first arose 

and felt the scorching hot water pound on my back in the shower

this morning I was running, but not away from anything 

instead toward

and it felt good and comforting, excitement swelling

and its still there as I sit with tons of stuff to get done

a steady list to check off 

but its all attainable, things I know I can accomplish 

and so I feel as though Im soaring 

like the first time you ran along the edge of the water

pushing your toes against the sand trying to lift off before you sink from your own weight

chasing a seagull you know you will never catch

running as fast as you can with arms outstretched 

and to you its not disappointing when you come to a stop

your feet still planted firmly on the ground -

sinking with the rushing sand -

because you were flying all along.

I remember that run as if it happened a single time, 

a single particular moment in my life that Ive been reliving

but now I cant remember if it ever actually happened at all.

photography by Annette Pehrsson