alone tonight with Steinbeck

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." 
— Anaïs Nin

"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."   — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Something happened in my chest this afternoon -

a shift in my breathing -

its as if I am always waiting for a crash to cave me in. 

Its a cynical fault of mine to think that when its good, its too good

and when things are off, its nothing short of a devastating loss. 

And so in the silence of this room, 

I am finding strength in the steadiness of its walls

allowing few tears to fall, simply

biding time [with the help of Steinbeck] 

until its an acceptable hour to fall asleep and hope for 

a brighter day tomorrow.