this morning when I woke up....

“You can hear now. Your inner ear is formed.
I shout "I love you" into the bedroom. Then I feel stupid. Then I don't. 

This is pretty much the story of my life.”
― Suzanne Finnamore

 

This morning when I woke up, I suddenly had a pretty legitimate little bump!

And just as surprising as it was to see it this morning, 

so too was my morning sickness which appears to have returned for the day. 

(I wish for only one of them to please go away.)

I really do wish I knew some tricks to make this nausea stay at bay - 

while I more than expected it during the first trimester...

it seems rather rude and uncalled for now that I am in my second!

But this bump can definitely stay...

Happy Thursday!

office blues.

"May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks."
— J.R.R. Tolkien

I had a hard time staying composed yesterday. 

My mind was forced to race, just as my limbs were ordered to sit still.

And so it wasn't until that evening - when the sun began to settle -

that my mind was free to join my wings. 

Mr. D and I took Lucy girl on a walk. We ate dinner outside and continued to walk

with no particular destination in mind. 

And for the first time all day I finally felt I was where I was supposed to be.

But I am back at it today, and that familiar aching is grabbing hold of my bones

Oh, if I can just make it until its time to go home....

photograph by Carin Davis

Love and Hot Dogs

"We must have pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie." 

- David Mamet

Some days are simply tougher than others. 

And on those days especially, I am so thankful for Mr. D and our family.

We went to DC-3 last night for hot dogs. It was really good and it's true - 

stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie...or a hot dog in this case.

I'm thankful for where we are and all that we have been blessed with...

but also admittedly wish I could just take a peek at a year or two or three down the road.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

once in the land of Dickens....

The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, 

are not more real, or more impossible to displace with your hands, 

than your presence and influence have been to me, 

there and everywhere, and will be. 

Estella, to the last hour of my life, 

you cannot choose but remain part of my character, 

part of the little good in me, part of the evil."

— Charles Dickens, Great Expectations   

In the Summer of 2006, I lived in London. 

Studying British literature, but mostly traveling and enjoying every moment

sans computer and/or cell phone.

I miss the days of long train rides to unfamiliar countries and history-rich cities...

green scenery and gray buildings flashing by the window -

I felt completely removed from everything I had known - 

experiencing life anew. 

Mostly, I fell in love with England.

All of this royal wedding coverage in London 

has me longing to go back.

Move there maybe?

photo found here.

a shining barrier; or "a fortified place with the walls and watchtowers gleaming white like the cliffs of England. "

"It is, I think, that we are all so alone in what lies deepest in our souls, 

so unable to find the words, and perhaps the courage to speak with unlocked hearts, 

that we don't know at all that it is the same with others."
— Sheldon Vanauken, A Severe Mercy 

 We came home from a baby shower last night (a guys wing night in Mr. D's case)

and went for a walk with Lucy girl. 

 The weather was perfect. It was after 10 pm and neither of us wore a coat.

I dont know exactly what it is that I love so much about our walks.

They aren't particularly long or groundbreaking 

but somehow I feel like the joint traverse binds us together.

As if at the end of our separate days, 

the solidarity of our walk as a family unites the hours spent apart.

This morning, as we both got ready for the day

I was reminded of an unavoidable separateness ahead

and found myself contemplating hopes and dreams

and wishing all sorts of things. 

photo from Sally Jane Vintage.

mans best friend

"Do you know why the nose of the bull dog is sloped backwards? 

So it can keep on breathing without ever letting go." 

— Winston S. Churchill

Growing up, we always had at least one dog - most times two -

and I have now been dog-less for over two years. I have been wanting one so badly for awhile now

and it was a qualification when we were looking for a place to live that dogs would be allowed.

When we got married, Mr. D agreed that we could get a dog in March...

so I have been avidly researching and looking into different breeds. 

Can't decide:

English Bulldog

French Bulldog

a doodle of sorts (we had a labradoodle that died two years ago)

We are going to look at the pound, too!

Here is the list of America's 10 Top Breeds. hm.

photo from flickr

Iceland, anyone?

As bright autumn leaves give way to muted scenes

I at first pause in dispair

the litered ground and ghostly air

frost not far from found

but the more I search, the more I find

that my heart is much happier here

in this brisk leaden atmosphere.

There is so much beauty in these gray undertones,

vibrant in their very essence.

The picture above was taken by Brooke of Brookelyn Photography

Be sure to check out her other pictures from mystical Iceland....

a place I am becoming more and more enchanted with and hope to one day visit.

France and Italy.

I feel like I am starting to read like a broken record. But it is hot. So hot outside. It has drained me of energy and words. Ice cream now seems like the only practical meal and the thought of running, let alone walking outside has me in search of air conditioning and a couch at night. And while the heat has robbed me of energy and productivity, I am more than ever lusting for an adventure out of the country. 

The shade of a tree in France or the steady rocking of a gondola in Italy.

Image found here.

the name says it all...

Man oh man do I wish I lived in Brooklyn

so that I could go to her trunk show...

If I could have my way...

I would get a dog and take it to a neighbor's house to play all day while I am away at work. [Or wait, I would actually be a writer and work from home. So scratch the neighbor's house.]

I would spend the afternoon with R and watch Amelie

I would never wear jeans except to work

I would pay my landlord in baked goods

I would spend much of the day trying out new recipes and have an endless supply of pots, pans and serving bowls

I would travel out of the country every three months

I would learn how to play the guitar and take voice lessons (there is very good reason why the latter has not been attempted...)

I would spend at least two months out of every year in Italy and speak nothing but Italian

I would have a drawing table by a window with a bird feeder not too far off in the distance

I would have my very own dark room to experiment in and

Right now, I would leave work, pick up R and spend the rest of the week exploring and taking pictures in NYC...

...but this weekend might just have to suffice.

------------------------------------
photo from The Sartorialist