red tulips and a visit from my mama!

“You're strictly a tulip girl—a red tulip girl.” 

― Alyson Noel

Nights are the hardest. 

From around 8 or 9 pm until Mr. D comes home (which was midnight last night), 

I try my best to make time fly. The days are getting a little easier, but its after 8 pm when the sun has set

that I find the hours seem to drag on by. I know I should probably be sleeping every chance I get 

in preparation for the lack of sleep I will soon be getting...

but nowadays I can rarely fall asleep without Mr. D. 

So baby and I wait anxiously and patiently for his arrival.

But this week is looking up! My sweet mama is flying up today to visit for a couple of days!

I am so excited to have her company and finish last minute baby girl preparations. 

Happy Wednesday! Hope you are having a good week. 

sundays

“All who joy would win

Must share it -- Happiness was born a twin.” 

― George Gordon Byron

I got to spend the whole day with my husband on Sunday...we walked around the city all afternoon.
Ever since we moved here, Ive dreamed of walking around the city with him

and it finally came true! And I loved EVERY single minute of it. 

Boston is fast becoming one of my very favorite cities and 

I am so happy that we have been given the opportunity to be here...

we have met some really wonderful people already and I love where we live.

One day last week, Mr. D mentioned that he is happier than he has been in awhile...

and you have no idea how happy that fact alone makes me. 

Im definitely having to get used to his work schedule...

but I love and treasure every single moment we do get to spend together. 

laughing in flowers on a Saturday

“The earth laughs in flowers.” 

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think I slept for maybe two hours last night and this morning got off to a rough start. 

Mr. D left for work at 7:30 am and suddenly I felt like I was being swallowed whole with no where to go.

 I stood in the shower and cried for a good 20 minutes...

the steam filling my lungs almost as quickly as the tears fell from my eyes.

So, what do you do when you're almost 9 months pregnant, a little down and alone on a Saturday? 

You open all of the windows. You fill the house with music. Buy some flowers 

and bake brownies of course...because there is nothing fresh air, music, flowers and chocolate can't fix.

Even the baby bump is wearing flowers today...

because if the earth laughs in flowers, we want in on it!

anything can be

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. 

Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. 

Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... 

Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

― Shel Silverstein

 It poured this morning.

And with the 65 degree temperature outside, the summer-like storm 

seemed so forlorn and out of place on this January day.

When I got to work, a yogurt parfait was sitting like a heavenly gift on my desk.

I almost hesitated to touch it for fear it would vanish 

[food means a lot to this pregnant girl these days]

My sweet boss - who is much more like a best friend - 

knew I would need just such a gift on this stormy morning after.

So in the midst of decisions left undecided

and pros and cons ferociously tormenting my mind - 

one moment I feel certain and the next... utterly confused and slightly lost - 

I am enjoying every single spoonful of this yogurt parfait 

and giving thanks for a friend dear, her advice and listening ear.

My heart feels a surprising peace.

After all...it is Friday. 

Hope you and yours have a happy weekend!

nothing like a fresh coat of paint....

“If I paint a wild horse, you might not see the horse... 

but surely you will see the wildness!”
― Pablo Picasso

 Days before we got married, we (with huge help from my parents) 

painted our living room walls a fresh and clean bright white - 

a stark contrast to the dulled yellow formerly present. 

But now both of the bedrooms are begging for the same face lift. 

So, while my handsome husband cleaned the floors in the bathroom and kitchen last night

AND put away the clean clothes 

that had become somewhat of a permanent heap in the chair in our bedroom...

I feel inspired and ready to push my sleeves up to my elbows
and dip my brush into that crisp white paint again.

So tonight there will be carpet shampooing for him 

(have you done that before? I am a little in love with the carpet shampooing machine)

and painting, painting, painting for me. 

We make a pretty good team, me and Mr. D. The best. 

And somehow he manages to make even the most mundane of chores fun and music-filled

for which I am so thankful.

photograph from here.

dreams and a chair...both waiting on laundry

"I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."
— W.B. Yeats

 Mr. D and I went to yoga for the first time in a long time last night, and this morning 

I can hardly move a muscle without feeling the effects of [attempted]

pigeon, fish and downward dog, to name a few.

But I am feeling - as of this afternoon - a new and inspired determination.

But before I start sketching what I've been meaning to paint

and typing what I've been silently writing

or cooking what sounds so good I can almost taste it...

I must tackle that pile of laundry in our room where - 

somewhere underneath those clothes -

a chair used for sitting 

once sat.

office blues.

"May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks."
— J.R.R. Tolkien

I had a hard time staying composed yesterday. 

My mind was forced to race, just as my limbs were ordered to sit still.

And so it wasn't until that evening - when the sun began to settle -

that my mind was free to join my wings. 

Mr. D and I took Lucy girl on a walk. We ate dinner outside and continued to walk

with no particular destination in mind. 

And for the first time all day I finally felt I was where I was supposed to be.

But I am back at it today, and that familiar aching is grabbing hold of my bones

Oh, if I can just make it until its time to go home....

photograph by Carin Davis

nurturing herbs and solitude

"Loneliness is black coffee and late-night television; 

solitude is herb tea and soft music. 

Solitude, quality solitude, is an assertion of self-worth, 

because only in the stillness can we hear the truth of our own unique voices."
— Pearl Cleage

 I have started an herb garden. 

Not quite the garden I imagine for my future- 

where the roots of the plants will actually dig in to the ground beneath my feet-

but its a start. A potted and well-lit start.

And when last night's vegetable baked ziti called for basil, it felt so good to reach over 

to my very own fresh basil plant and pick the exact amount needed.

I really love this excerpt from the quote above,

"Solitude, quality solitude, is an assertion of self-worth, 

because only in the stillness can we hear the truth of our own unique voices."

Tonight, I am reading and writing and letting myself be fully immersed

in quality solitude...

[something that comes pretty easily for an only child, 

but can be so easily drowned out if not nurtured ever so often]

photograph from weheartit.com

change[s]

"The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely."
— Louisa May Alcott

 We have been driving a convertible around the District lately, 

and the fact that the weather has been absolutely divine has made it quite dream-like.

Change is in the air around here, 

so I am having to breathe deep and pray a lot...

But driving around in a convertible, the wind rushing through my lungs

and the air weightlessly combing through my hair

makes breathing deeply a whole lot easier

and I'm that much closer to the sky up there.

And when facing change with Mr.D on my team, 

I feel like we can do anything.

So, I am working on my attitude,

[I sometimes have a tendency to lean toward pessimism and call it reality]

 putting trust in my husband

and relying on a whole lotta faith.

 Plus, whenever we are faced with a challenge - 

if we go about it the right way...we only become closer and grow stronger in the long run. 

So, here's to thankfulness, the next adventure and a brand new week!

Happy Monday, y'all. 

Lucy girl goes ot the vet.

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. 

We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. 

They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made. "
— Roger Caras

 Having a dog is not easy. In fact, 

I have thought many times over the course of Lucy girls three months with us 

that I simply cannot do it.

There was not a single day that went by while I was growing up that we didnt have at least one dog...

most of the time we had two. 

So, a home is not a home to me without a tiny heart beat following me about.

But having a puppy and a full time job is enough to make a person feel astronomically defeated. 

 And I am ashamed to admit that at one particularly low moment - 

[when husband was working really late every night]

that I sat crying defeated on the couch staring at the ball of fur and energy scampering about

and I am reluctant to admit that I sat there with tear stained cheeks googling rescues

because I just didnt feel like we were capable of providing 

sweet girl with the time and attention she needed. Lame.

Thankfully, Mr. D saved the day and made me feel a little less crazy.

We made it through that first month, 

and now the house feels so empty without her there.

And I don't know what we would do without her because she is part of our family now.

---------------

The third member of our family is at the vet getting spayed...

so, if you get a chance today...send good thoughts Lucy girls way!

photographs by Amber of Live It Out Photography

awful normals and air conditioning.

"At a certain part in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by, you will open your eyes and see yourself for who you are. Especially for everything that made you so different from all the awful normals. And you will say to yourself, 'But I am this person.' And in that statement, in that correction, there will be a kind of love."

-Phoebe in Wonderland

In sudden stillness - 

if a 102 degree humid day can ever be completely motionless...

in the kind of air that is hard to move through or even lift your hands - 

my words hung around my neck

strangling me to the steady sound of the window unit.

Hearing, but not feeling.

I searched back through time trying to find an explanation.

A reason for this place.
All the while frantically grasping, but not flinching. 

Laying there, it wasn't until I felt the cool air faintly tickling my skin that 

I pulled myself out of comparisons 

and other things akin.
And something lifted me up off the carpeted ground,
just as I was. Who I am. 

photo by Olle Eriksson

summer is here

"Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, 

is always beyond our grasp,
but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

— Nathaniel Hawthorne

Its hot here in the District and the humid air truly feels like summer is here.

We went to Eastern Market on Saturday morning for bluebucks pancakes and crepes

and saw Top Chef being taped.

Went to the Memorial Day concert on the Hill 

and in no particular order:

celebrated a friend's birthday with pizza and sweets

had several milk shakes 

laid out by the pool

finished a book and started two more

picnic with family

gave Lucy girl a summer do 

saw Midnight in Paris 

and hardly ever stopped to look at a clock

 

I'm in survival mode this week

really focusing on every little blessing -

giving thanks in and for everything.

Italia

"It is fate that I am here,' George persisted,

'but you can call it Italy if it makes you less unhappy."
— E.M. Forster, A Room With a View

My parents and their two good friends are planning to rent a villa in Italy
for almost a month

and Mr.D and I get to go for a bit (!)

which means I will be brushing up on the four years of Italian I studied in college.

Mr. D speaks fluent Spanish, so I have a feeling it will be a breeze for him to master -

meanwhile, I struggled through every single semester of Italian in college

and always had points counted off for speaking Italian with a Spanish accent. sigh.

I cant even speak Spanish!

But I will speak Italian in a year when we go to Italy. I will.

image found here.

B&B preparations underway

"Home is the nicest word there is."
— Laura Ingalls Wilder

 This couch lived in my mom's art studio last week, 

and now resides in our cozy little house.

Family members start arriving tomorrow and I have so much to do to get ready -

namely, organizing our little home into a comfortable and relaxing place for company

and finishing work on several little projects.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend and upcoming week - 

even though it will be a little hectic, I am so excited to spend time & celebrate with family and friends.

Also...excited that my dress from BHLDN
arrived in the mail this week! Can't wait to wear it.

P.S. Saw a few pictures from the photo shoot we did with Amber and Jon of Live It Out Photography 

and I cannot wait to share them and see the rest of them.

night walks.

"Believing takes practice."

— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

 The quiet methodical placement of one foot in front of the other is so healing. 

It forces your mind to keep on moving and your heart to steady its beating. Soon,

it takes less effort to remember to step.. and before you know it you're whole city blocks ahead.

And I highly recommend walking in twos...

One of the first things Mr. D ever said to me was that he liked how I walked - normally

he has to slow down to keep up with others...be we, 

we just naturally walk to the same rhythm.

I'm so thankful for our almost daily walks together with Lucy...

eyeing houses and dreaming things and always so thankful to end up back home - 

the three of us.

May Merriment!

"The night you gave me my birthday party...
you were a young Lieutenant and I was a fragrant phantom,
wasn't I? And it was a radiant night, a night of soft conspiracy
and the trees agreed that it was all going to be for the best."
— Zelda Fitzgerald

 I am really excited about our celebration in May.

Our wedding was perfect, unique and very much just about us...that was the focus and the whole point of it. 

It wasnt clouded over with expectations or some grand carried-away plan. 

It was completely us...so sacred and dear to me.

[that story - the preparations and details - soon to come]

Our May celebration is setting up to be just as unique and lovely...except the focus

this time is on family and friends and an opportunity for us to celebrate our union with them. 

I can't wait to see the dance floor set up in this very field.

Husband and I drove out to the country on Saturday to finish prepping the invitations with my parents. 

We decided to design and do them ourselves  -

I have never stamped so much in my life and I am actually quite proud of our hard work.

They are in the mail today! 

the heartbeat at my feet

"My little dog—a heartbeat at my feet."
— Edith Wharton

 Lately husband has been working really late, 

so little Lucy and I have been going on a lot of walks together.

She's a good little companion, literally a heartbeat at my feet while I cook in the kitchen

but she has also given a whole new meaning to the phrase "pet peeve." 

Needless to say, we are both relieved when Mr. D comes home at night...

she even cried when he left early this morning

(which I have to admit was a little irritating seeing as I am the one that hangs out with her most of the day...) 

 Sometimes I don't know what we would do without him....we sure do love him.

a small domestic breakdown

"I am of certain convinced that the greatest heroes 

are those who do their duty in the daily grind of domestic affairs 

whilst the world whirls as a maddening dreidel." 

— Florence Nightingale

 I have yet to get into a routine with our furry new addition. 

So as soon as Mr. D finally got home around 10pm, 

I found myself in the middle of a full fledged domestic breakdown -

frantically scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen while plotting
future meals in my head and wishing I was in that scene in Sleeping Beauty
when the fairies manage to make a cake WHILE mopping the floor -

and just then [as I was willing the broom to dance across the kitchen floor]
husband wrapped me up and told me not to worry
and I could feel my body melting away in his arms.

This morning, as I stood over the stove making hard boiled eggs

- staring deep into the bubbling water -

I found myself repeating in my head,

"I can do this... I can do this..."

Hopefully I'm not losing my mind, too.

to pursue beauty to its lair

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget."

— Arundhati Roy   

      I had a hard day at work yesterday, 

but the sunrise this morning truly brought forth joy and light. 

It is so easy for me to let my own shortcomings and areas of weakness 

cast gray clouds over hope. 

 I love writing, but I am not a very good communicator when it doesn't involve pen and paper.

I dont easily let my guard down and I'm often quiet around people I'm not very familiar with.

These are not strengths. Especially when I truly do have a great love and admiration for people.

The art of forgetting oneself. 

No matter your surroundings. 

Because in order to truly pursue beauty and care for others

I have to get out of the way.

photo from flickr.

mans best friend

"Do you know why the nose of the bull dog is sloped backwards? 

So it can keep on breathing without ever letting go." 

— Winston S. Churchill

Growing up, we always had at least one dog - most times two -

and I have now been dog-less for over two years. I have been wanting one so badly for awhile now

and it was a qualification when we were looking for a place to live that dogs would be allowed.

When we got married, Mr. D agreed that we could get a dog in March...

so I have been avidly researching and looking into different breeds. 

Can't decide:

English Bulldog

French Bulldog

a doodle of sorts (we had a labradoodle that died two years ago)

We are going to look at the pound, too!

Here is the list of America's 10 Top Breeds. hm.

photo from flickr